How to prepare for a Zombie Apocalypse

How to Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse:

1: Forget about money you won’t need it. Just pick up the freshest dead body next to you and lug it around. Yup we’ll be trading dead bodies (aren’t you excited).

2: Find shelter: Now Zombies, depending on which Hollywood movie you watch, can jump uncharacteristically high or are ground lovers. This means you should have a variety of shelters picked out just in case.

3: Being Physically fit: this is another “what is really true about zombies thing” because they are either slow like the “Walking Dead” or freakishly fast like “I Am Legend” (I recommend to be physically fit so you don’t have to worry about it, but if you are out of shape just make certain you hang around people who are slower than you).

4: Transportation: If you choose a car, good luck. The roads will be so crammed with left over cars it will be ridiculously impossible to drive through. If you go by plane or some other flying object you have to be wary. First of all you must know how to fly. If you don’t then you better have a good friendship with the pilot (not one of those friendships where they will throw you out of the cockpit when they see a zombie.) Plus you’ll have to land sometime to get fuel if that fuel place is loaded with zombies then SOL. You could travel by boat but again with the gas thing (unless you want to keep rowing, which isn’t very fun) And then there is the whole if the zombies can really walk underwater thing or even swim then you’re toast.

5: Education: If you majored in Music history, sorry sucker but you’re the first one gone.

6: Friends and groups of people: Always have one “friend” you can sacrifice to the zombies (just make certain the rest of the group doesn’t think you’re the sacrifice. If they do, then it’s time to find some new friends. Though, you probably won’t know that you’re the sacrifice until the zombies are munching on your legs, so try to find out quickly who the sacrifice is).

7: Weapons: Gun control? Yeah that doesn’t exist anymore.

8: Location: Most people don’t think about this one. Where do you want to be when the zombies are eating your brains out? Would you rather be in the freezing parts of Alaska or have a lovely beach scenery in the Bahamas? What if you get a break from Zombie running? Would you spend your break running through the open fields of Kansas or Hiking the Alps in where ever the Alps are?

9: Intoxicating yourself knowingly with the virus: This needs a whole other set of rules because first of all you’ll want to do it secretly when there are a lot of unarmed people around so you don’t go hungry (but not too many people because they can gang up on you and kill you, weapons or not).

10: Finally the most important rule of Zombie survival: Don’t get caught by a Zombie you dummy.