My rant on some "Sayings"

 Today is a day of "sayings." I am in one of those moods today. You know those moods where someone is very optimistic and you just want to throw your shoe at them for being so happy?

Shut up, I did not ask for your advice and leave me in my own pessimist bubble today. It all started when my little happy optimist friend say "Never say Never." Seriously? That is just not a good saying. There are a lot of things that are NEVER going to happen.
Let me give you a list of things that are NEVER going to happen:

• Me getting an "A" in math...Never gonna happen

• Aliens attacking the world while riding there purple unicorns that eat chipmunks...Never gonna happen
• Getting Chuck Norris on MY team for the Zombie Apocalypse...Never gonna happen because as soon as he gets on MY team it is now HIS team.  

• Me being able to spell Apocalypse without using spell check...Nope never gonna happen

What about the phrase "You'll understand when you're older." Now what is up with that?! Here are some things that I will NEVER understand no matter what age I'll be.

• Women...That says it all (I'm even a woman and I don't understand them!)

• Taxes...Thank you H&R block!
• Why FireFly was cancelled...Curse you people who cancelled it!!! Curse you!!!!

Wouldn't that be awesome if your airline captain said that over the intercom on your next flight?! 

• Why do women's jeans have pockets so small they can't even fit a dime in there?!...I don't understand that, but I do think this is why gigantic purses were invented. "Hmmm...Women have children and children have a lot of stuff and women do not have pockets big enough to fit all of those things...'I know! Let's create giant purses that have bottomless pits so they can carry everything in them but still can't find anything!"

"Nothing is impossible" (Whoa! Brain epiphany! Is this really saying that "nothing is impossible to do " or that "to create nothing is impossible" cause that makes a HUGE difference! OUCH now my brain hurts.) Well here are somethings that are impossible to do:

• How about breathing in outer space without a space suit?
• Or swimming in a Volcano and surviving?
• Slamming a revolving door.
• Winning a fight against Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris 

"Less is more"

• Not when it comes to toilet paper...Ever been in that situation where you try to make that last torn piece of square TP work? I have and it does NOT work.

• A small size of McDonald's french fries? That should NEVER happen! Small shouldn't even be an option on the menu!
• Pistachios. Seriously, have you ever just eaten one pistachio? That stuff is like Meth!

Ok my ranting is done for today :) and surprisingly, I am in a happier mood :) Yay me!