The Rabbit

I love my child more than anything in the world and she is wonderful. I'm the kind of mom where I believe my child is perfect, does nothing wrong, and when she grows up she's going to become president, end world hunger, get a gold medal in all the Olympic sports, and find a way how to combine Twinkies, Coke and Sour Patch kids so we can have a taste of heaven with every bite, all before she's 35. See she's brilliant! Ok that might be stretching the truth a little. But she is a great kid and I love her to death. Like I said she's wonderful, but the chica has an evil demonic side to her that pops up every now and then...(when I say "every now and then" I really mean like every other 5 minutes). Now that you know this I need to tell you about the "Rabbit":

Everyday I drive on a particular road four times a day. There is a wedding reception place, on one side of the street and on the other side of the street there is a Something Store (It kind of looks like a junk yard to me). I was driving down this road one day in April when suddenly I hear Kiara say "Look mommy! There's a Rabbit!!" I smile and look out the window where she is pointing, but I don't see a rabbit so I just go along with her and say "uh huh, very nice." Well this continued for the rest of the month and I could never see the rabbit. Now, I know Kiara knows what a rabbit is. She has an aunt who owns a rabbit and Kiara has played with it, and she can point out all of the rabbits in any book. So she knows what a rabbit looks like. But just in case I decided to ask her "Kiara, are you sure it's a rabbit?" She looks at me as though I just asked the most ridiculous question in the world and replies "Ya mommy, rabbit, like a bunny." To me that got translated into "Uh Duh! I know what a rabbit is you nitwit, do you know what a rabbit is?"  Yeah I felt special after that comment. It's amazing how a two year old can test your own intellect.
So after a while of not seeing the rabbit I started to really look for it as we drove down this road. I could never find it, although, I did keep seeing a truck that had a green Kermit the frog on it's tailgate and I asked Kiara if she was talking about the green frog and she replied no. Then I would ask Kiara "Where is the rabbit?" and she would point out the driver side window and say "It's right there mommy!". That's when I noticed that she was pointing at the Wedding place sign. So I thought "Oh! She must think that cursive G is a rabbit!" So I tell her "Sweet heart that's just a sign with a cursive G. That's not a rabbit" (clearly thinking she, a two year old, knew what a cursive G was...smart one Megan) after hearing this Kiara clearly stated with assertiveness "No mommy it's a rabbit."
Needless to say this went on for another couple of weeks (FYI we are now in June). But now Kiara was messing with me. She would say "Look mommy rabbit!" but this time she was pointing out the passenger side window! I'm thinking "What the....?!!!" So I stop the car and I say in that high pitch voice that parents typically use with two year olds "Honey where is the bunny?" Now, Kiara has a saying when she doesn't want to tell you something, she will say "because no." and when you ask "why" she will reply with "because no"this is her favorite saying. So I ask her this and she puts down her pointing finger stares at me intently and says "because no." GGGAAAHHH!!!! I am now losing sleep over this rabbit. I have stopped every time on that street for the last 3 weeks scouring the place with my eyes looking for that rabbit. It is no where! It has been over 2 months and I CANNOT find this STUPID rabbit! Finally, I break down and I ask Chris if he has ever seen a rabbit down this street. He says "No, why?" I say in a frantic voice "Because I am going crazy!!! Kiara keeps seeing a rabbit down this street and I cannot figure out where that stupid rabbit is! She can see it but I cannot?! I NEED TO FIND THAT RABBIT!!!" By this point I have now become obsessed with this rabbit. Remember how I said that I drove down that street 4 times a day? Well now I stop at that street 4 times a day and look for that retarded rabbit. Chris said "Megan, just ignore it. She's two, she's probably just making it up." I say "Nu-uh! She sees it, and she only sees it on that particular road. I ask her before and after that road if she sees the rabbit now, and do you know what she does?! She stares at me like I'm an idiot and then condescendingly says "No mom". I didn't even know she could be condescending at two!!! I need to find this rabbit!!! You don't understand it is driving me nuts!!!" Chris says "Yeah I can clearly see that you're nuts, but don't worry about it." He doesn't understand the seriousness of this situation.
This goes on all through August, me asking Kiara where it is, her saying "because no", me going insane and acting like a creeper stopping in front of these stores just glaring at them in desperate search of this rabbit. Finally September 23rd comes around (that's today fyi) this is now the 5th best day of my life!!! I picked up Kiara after work and we are driving down the street when suddenly she says "Look mommy green rabbit!" I slam on the breaks, flip a U turn, and drive back to the place where she pointed. I get out of the car and I get her out of the car and we go for a walk. I say "honey show me where this rabbit is." She runs over and points to the frickin green Kermit frog on the back of the truck that I kept finding. But then she stops and says "OH!! It's a frog!" I am the happiest person on earth! I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE "RABBIT"!!!...or so I thought. As we were pulling away Kiara suddenly says "Look mommy! There's rabbit!" and she was NOT pointing at the frog. So I say "don't you mean there's a frog?" in high hopes that she was mistakenly pointing at something else, and she says "No mommy, that's a frog (pointing at the frog) and That's a rabbit (pointing again at the wedding sign) it's high on a mountain" This is when I start banging my head on the steering wheel and say to myself "I just got played by a two year old."

Chris gets home and I tell him all about my amazing day so he starts to talk with Kiara and this is how their conversation went:
Chris "So did you see a rabbit today?"
Kiara:  "yeah"
Chris: "What color was it?"
Kiara: "green"
Chris: "Hmmm.. maybe it was a frog."
Kiara: "maybe it was a rabbit!"
Chris: "are you sure it wasn't a frog?"
Kiara: "Maybe it was a bunny!"

Out beat by a two year old.

Meet the "Rabbit"

Days when I know I am not a people person

I admit there are some days where I am not a people person and I want to kick them in the face. Someone says "Hey! how are you?" *KICK* Someone says "hey you look pretty" AWE! *KICK*
Ok usually I don't kick people for saying things like that, but there are some stupid people who are out there who eventually find their way to me. I have issues with these people. I'm usually good with people, but let me tell ya, there are a few days where I just want to bean them in the head with a 2x4.

Here is how I know when I shouldn't talk to people

1) When I want to sick the Monty Python Bunny on them
2) When I start my stick figure drawings of them being pushed into a spiky wall or them being squished by a giants foot.
3) When I want to rip out my hair and scream "Are you really that stupid?!"
4) When I start writing a letter to the government declaring that we need to have tests for idiots who want to become a parent. Stupid people should not be allowed to reproduce!
5) When throwing my cell phone at their head seems appropriate. (I say cell phone because I apparently always have it on me...gah I hate the cell phone trap conundrum, talk about government tracking! Yeah government, I'm on to you and your mind games! Maybe I should write to the government about that too! Nah that takes too much work.)
6) When I feel like shooting unicorns and breaking rainbows.
7) When something slips out like "Did you really just ask me that?" (yes, this has happened and the out come was not pleasant, my boss had a talking to me. Although, all I had to say was, "well they shouldn't be that stupid", and my boss agreed with me :) I love my boss)
8) When I have broken 5 pencils and a pen and now have ink all over my hand, which only pisses me off even more. (ok so it was only one pencil and one pen, but when it comes to 5 that's when you know it's bad)
9) When I start talking to myself in third person angrily (I had to write angrily because I always talk to myself out loud).
10) When I turn into this guy: (Ok this has not happened yet but when it does you'll totally know because it's a part of my plan for when I rule the world.)

by the way Aladdin is one of my  top 5 favorite Disney movies

11) When I have had 3 cokes and it's only 9 AM

12) When I start cutting out voodoo dolls out of paper and stabbing them with my pencil and sticking paperclips through them

13) When I hand my phone to my boss and say "Here! It's your turn!" (This really didn't work because my boss apparently had a pissed off person in her office at the time and said "I'll take it, but you have to deal with the livid person in my office." Yeah talk about backfire.)

14) OK, now when I shout "RAWR, GAR, GRUMBLE!!!" Stay away from me. I cannot tell you how many people come up to me and talk to me. No, I am saying these things because I'm pissed and you might become the next victim of my RAWRING. Just a little warning.

Wow apparently I am not a people person a lot of the time!!! Or maybe there are just that many stupid people out there. Yup, that's it. Justification is my best friend ;) 

Just so you know right now I'm in my #6 mood, and I will mount that unicorn's head on my wall...Ok not really, cause that's just gross, but I will turn it into a museum so I can make millions declaring that they really do exist.(that's not a part of my plan for when I rule the world FYI but it would come in handy :) )

Another post with random thoughts. Yay lucky you!!!

You know what? I'm just going to do a post about random thoughts that pop in my head. OK you can't say I didn't warn you that I have random thoughts, it says so in the title of my blog. ;)

I have been having random thoughts all day and they are bothering me because I cannot get them out of my head so I am going to write them down. I have very retarded thoughts and sometimes I find it amazing that I even have an IQ at all. *hint this is a warning that what you are about to read is going to be a waste of your time*

1. Did I dream about Cheese? I think I did because I remember seeing "MILD CHEESE 1LB" Or did I just see that last night when I went to get my midnight snack? Oh boy I am soooo confused! Why does this even matter? Oh it matters because I need to know if it was a dream or if it was reality. If it was a dream then I have weird dreams and according to dream interpretation to dream of cheese means "To see cheese in your dream symbolizes gains and profits. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor for something that is "cheesy" or lame. Or it could be saying that you need to smile more." (yes, I have time to look up the meaning of cheese it was bothering me, like I said I cannot get it out of my head). But if I saw it last night in the fridge then I'm thinking "Awe man I should have had cheese last night! I missed out on that sucker." Don't ask me why these mean different things, I don't control my brain...

2. Did I really dream of bracelet making last night?! Boy, I should try that pattern, it looked so cool in my dream I wonder if I can recreate that bracelet it would look so cool! Wait a minute...I hate bracelet making. (I've been trying to find a hobby and I thought "hey bracelet making with hemp and leather would be awesome and so much fun!" I have no idea what I was thinking because now it is added to my seventh circle of Hell along with scrap booking, pant shopping, and bra shopping.)

3. What would I look like if I had a mole on the tip of my nose? Can you get a mole on your tongue?!!! What if there were moles under my skin?!! Can that happen?!

4. I wonder if I jump hard enough if my shoes will fall off and stay on the ground...

5. Did I fall asleep on the toilet again?!

6. These allergies suck! Actually my nose is runny so I really should say that my nose has the runs..ha ha that's funny you know "runs"! I crack myself up sometimes. ;) I think I actually teared up on that one...Nope just kidding it's my eyes watering from the allergies...SEE RUNS!!! Wow I'm a dork. I bet I could write this on facebook and people would be like "OH MY GOSH SHE'S A GENIUS TO MAKE THAT CONNECTION!!!" Ok maybe they wouldn't say that it would be more like "OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE JUST SAID THAT! She's a bit of a dork." Yeah that might be more like it so I wont write it on Facebook (apparently I'll blog about it. hmmm...something seems a little messed up about this...)

7.  My head feels like it's spinning. If I turn my chair opposite of the direction my head is spinning I wonder if it would work....Nope, no, it doesn't, now my stomach feels like vomiting. Why did I try that? You know I'm a college person (well that doesn't really mean anything in all honesty) but I'm doing stupid things like this. The sad part is, I actually thought it through! But the physics seemed so sound to me at the time. It's a good thing I didn't become a physics major like I first wanted.

8. Think I made a mistake eh? Do I look like a person who makes mistakes?! (ok maybe) Don't you say I made a mistake when I know I didn't make a mistake mister * visualizing me doing the black head shake with the Z snap* Don't you tell me how to do my job. I know how to do MY job. Nuh-uh! You did not just say that. I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Oh boy you said that! I'm going to kick yoooouuuu!!!! RAWR *Visualizing Godzilla eating him. HIYA!!! I just did a ninja kick that put him right into Godzilla's mouth* I win. Don't mess with me on a Monday. HA BOO YA I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG SUCK IT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! SUCKER!!!! *doin' a dance* (Actually did a dance when he left)

9.Ok I'm done with random thoughts blog. This is stupid. Who is going to read this? Wow they must be really bored, and now they are probably even more bored because you made them uber bored! Wow good one Megs, you hit the boredom button today didn't you?

Wow It's not even 11:30 AM and my thoughts are driving me nuts! I really need a break from my mind. How can one do that?! Amazing! I'm going to have to find the answer to that one!

This is my venting post. Don't judge me ;)

You know those people who just plainly piss you off and you can't do anything about it because you're a "good" person? GRRR....I hate being the "good" person sometimes. I like to think that I'm a person who will tell you if you're pissing me off, but there are some moments in life that I can't do that.

For instance, your teacher. You cannot tell your teacher in the middle of the semester that they are an idiot and that they are a closed minded, unstructured, piece of....No, you can't say that because you will most likely get a failing grade or extra homework.  (oh I have soooo many things to say about some teachers GGRRrrrr....especially one particular teacher because she was an idiot and I got an A- on a paper because I forgot to put "Running header" on the first page on my first research paper in her class! (normally I'm grateful for just getting a C on a paper but I'm pissed about this one because it was a stupid reason to get the minus part!) And the worst part was, she made us a template and she just said to write our papers and copy and paste it on this template and we'll do fine and get an A. So that's what I did. And BS! Apparently her template also didn't have a "running header" and I brought this up and all she said was "well I mentioned in class that it needed to say "running header" on the first page, if I didn't catch that on my template than that's not my fault, you should have caught that." Boy, that just pissed me off for the rest of the semester. Nothing else was wrong with that paper, she even said it was good. But that running header thing was the only thing that brought me down. I can even show you the stupid paper and you'll be like "Yeah that teacher was an idiot for giving you an A-"....Can't tell I still have a grudge on that huh?)
(oh by the way this isn't what sparked my pissy day but it always comes back to haunt me GGrrrrr...)

If someone calls you up at work and starts cussing and yelling at you, you can't yell back "Well this is what I think of YOU!!" You'll get fired.

Or your boss. You can NEVER EVER tell off your boss because that's a for sure way you'll get your butt fired, or at least you wont get that raise that you've been waiting for.

The door that you ran into. You can be pissed all you want and tell it off all you want, but it will still end up hitting you the next day because it decided to grow an inch over night and trick you into hitting it...again!

Yell at a police officer? Yeah right! You can kiss your free night good bye and start making new "special" friends behind bars. Not a place I recommend meeting new friends. I love police officers and totally respect them for everything they do, but there was one time where I got pulled over on a bogus charge. I passed him on an on-ramp going 55 MPH he was going at least 45 MPH and he pulled me over for passing him! Not even 20 yards in front of us was the speed limit sign that said 55 MPH. So he asked me "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I said "No sir I don't. I was going the speed limit" He said "well you were going to fast and you actually passed me, and your license plate light was out." (Which I totally knew that it wasn't because I followed Chris home the night before and it was working just fine. Then I checked it again when I went home and it was just fine.) Luckily he let me off with a warning. But boy there were so many things I wanted to say at that time.  But let me tell ya, my husband sure got an ear full of it. He was with me at the time. :)

So because I cannot tell off people at certain times I've become a little passive aggressive and I make some voodoo dolls and throw them across the room, after I've torchered them in various ways such as feeding them to the two-dimensional man-eating sharks that I drew on a paper. (and ya'll wonder why I'm in therapy).

GRRRrrr...I wish there was some way to just teach them a lesson (don't worry this isn't a threat but man I hope Karma bites them in the tuchus).

I mean you could track down that person, get their phone number and call it everyday from a burn phone letting them know that they are a butt-head and you hope that when the zombie Apocalypse comes they get eaten by their zombie cat. But I don't know if that's legal and if you could be charged with harassment or something like that so I don't recommend this.

I rarely get upset with people...when I say rarely I mean like every other 5 minutes, and every 2 minutes if I'm driving...;)...But don't piss me off because I'll write a blog about it and I'll wish so much bad Karma on you that my Karma will become bad and I'll hate you even more because of that conundrum.

Anyway that's my vent.

I am Proud to be an American 9/11

I could have made this a funny post but it wouldn't show my true feelings about being an American and what it means to me. So sorry guys, but this one is a serious post that means a lot to me.

I was looking back on the world and thinking about what really matters and what changes we can make in our lives. I have a lot of changes that need to be made, but I also have a lot of people to thank for letting me have the freedom to make those changes. Having it be 9/11 really makes my mind wonder about these things. I remember being in 7th grade when it happened and the shock of seeing it on TV. I was in my 1st period English class and after seeing it on the news our teacher asked us to write down what we thought and how we felt about this horrific event that has happened. When everyone was finished I don't think I saw a dry eye in the classroom. Even at the ages of 12 and 13 we all felt for those people and loved them even though we never knew them. We felt sorrow for the loved ones lost and for the families that would never see their mom, dad, grandparent, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin ever again. I remember feeling impressed with how many people went back into the building to help save more lives. Would I have been one of those people? At the age of 12 I remember thinking yes, but now that I look back on that decision I ask myself again, would I be one of those people, am I one of those people? My honest answer is yes, but it is also no. I would be able to jump into a burning building and save someone, but for a neighbor who lost a loved one it's hard for me to go over to their home and share my feelings. I sometimes realize that I hold back because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I wont say the right thing to that person and I might make matters worse. Fear is one of my biggest hold backs, but I'm going to change that. I want to step out of my comfort zone and help those who are in need of help, comfort, and care. This isn't going to happen over night and I'm really going to need to practice stepping out of my comfort zone, but it never hurts to befriend a person and be there for them.

We have a lot of people out there fighting for us and some of us take these soldiers for granted. Some of us think that these wars are pointless and unneeded, but even though we think that way, we also need to remember that there are soldiers out there fighting those battles. They were given orders to do so and even if they disagree with the war they are still out there risking their lives and fighting for better purposes and trying to make this world a better place. Even though we have men and women overseas fighting we also have hero's here fighting everyday as well.  We have plenty of people to thank for keeping our country safe, police officers, fire fighters, search and rescue, and a whole lot of others who put their lives at risk everyday to keep us safe. I am grateful for these people who help keep me protected, and not take advantage of me and my rights as a citizen.  I also have to thank all of the moms, dads, teachers, and others who help teach our future generations to become a better people. Let's not lose our patriotic pride, and what makes us America. We are the land of the free, let's keep it that way.

I am so grateful to live in a country where I can make my own decisions, become who I want to be, have a home where I want, marry who I want, etc. There are so many things that I have been blessed with just by living in this country.  I love the United States of America and I am proud to be an American.  America might have it's flaws but I still consider it one of the best countries to live in. I look at some places and am grateful for the things that I have and that I'm allowed to own. I'm grateful that I have the freedom that I have.

We have so much to be grateful for and and so much to be proud of. I love my country and stand by it 100%.  I can't volunteer to be in the army or become a police officer, but I can help make this a better place by providing my service and helping others in need and helping those around me.

So thank you for those of you who help make this a better place.