Everyday I drive on a particular road four times a day. There is a wedding reception place, on one side of the street and on the other side of the street there is a Something Store (It kind of looks like a junk yard to me). I was driving down this road one day in April when suddenly I hear Kiara say "Look mommy! There's a Rabbit!!" I smile and look out the window where she is pointing, but I don't see a rabbit so I just go along with her and say "uh huh, very nice." Well this continued for the rest of the month and I could never see the rabbit. Now, I know Kiara knows what a rabbit is. She has an aunt who owns a rabbit and Kiara has played with it, and she can point out all of the rabbits in any book. So she knows what a rabbit looks like. But just in case I decided to ask her "Kiara, are you sure it's a rabbit?" She looks at me as though I just asked the most ridiculous question in the world and replies "Ya mommy, rabbit, like a bunny." To me that got translated into "Uh Duh! I know what a rabbit is you nitwit, do you know what a rabbit is?" Yeah I felt special after that comment. It's amazing how a two year old can test your own intellect.
So after a while of not seeing the rabbit I started to really look for it as we drove down this road. I could never find it, although, I did keep seeing a truck that had a green Kermit the frog on it's tailgate and I asked Kiara if she was talking about the green frog and she replied no. Then I would ask Kiara "Where is the rabbit?" and she would point out the driver side window and say "It's right there mommy!". That's when I noticed that she was pointing at the Wedding place sign. So I thought "Oh! She must think that cursive G is a rabbit!" So I tell her "Sweet heart that's just a sign with a cursive G. That's not a rabbit" (clearly thinking she, a two year old, knew what a cursive G was...smart one Megan) after hearing this Kiara clearly stated with assertiveness "No mommy it's a rabbit."
Needless to say this went on for another couple of weeks (FYI we are now in June). But now Kiara was messing with me. She would say "Look mommy rabbit!" but this time she was pointing out the passenger side window! I'm thinking "What the....?!!!" So I stop the car and I say in that high pitch voice that parents typically use with two year olds "Honey where is the bunny?" Now, Kiara has a saying when she doesn't want to tell you something, she will say "because no." and when you ask "why" she will reply with "because no"this is her favorite saying. So I ask her this and she puts down her pointing finger stares at me intently and says "because no." GGGAAAHHH!!!! I am now losing sleep over this rabbit. I have stopped every time on that street for the last 3 weeks scouring the place with my eyes looking for that rabbit. It is no where! It has been over 2 months and I CANNOT find this STUPID rabbit! Finally, I break down and I ask Chris if he has ever seen a rabbit down this street. He says "No, why?" I say in a frantic voice "Because I am going crazy!!! Kiara keeps seeing a rabbit down this street and I cannot figure out where that stupid rabbit is! She can see it but I cannot?! I NEED TO FIND THAT RABBIT!!!" By this point I have now become obsessed with this rabbit. Remember how I said that I drove down that street 4 times a day? Well now I stop at that street 4 times a day and look for that retarded rabbit. Chris said "Megan, just ignore it. She's two, she's probably just making it up." I say "Nu-uh! She sees it, and she only sees it on that particular road. I ask her before and after that road if she sees the rabbit now, and do you know what she does?! She stares at me like I'm an idiot and then condescendingly says "No mom". I didn't even know she could be condescending at two!!! I need to find this rabbit!!! You don't understand it is driving me nuts!!!" Chris says "Yeah I can clearly see that you're nuts, but don't worry about it." He doesn't understand the seriousness of this situation.
This goes on all through August, me asking Kiara where it is, her saying "because no", me going insane and acting like a creeper stopping in front of these stores just glaring at them in desperate search of this rabbit. Finally September 23rd comes around (that's today fyi) this is now the 5th best day of my life!!! I picked up Kiara after work and we are driving down the street when suddenly she says "Look mommy green rabbit!" I slam on the breaks, flip a U turn, and drive back to the place where she pointed. I get out of the car and I get her out of the car and we go for a walk. I say "honey show me where this rabbit is." She runs over and points to the frickin green Kermit frog on the back of the truck that I kept finding. But then she stops and says "OH!! It's a frog!" I am the happiest person on earth! I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE "RABBIT"!!!...or so I thought. As we were pulling away Kiara suddenly says "Look mommy! There's rabbit!" and she was NOT pointing at the frog. So I say "don't you mean there's a frog?" in high hopes that she was mistakenly pointing at something else, and she says "No mommy, that's a frog (pointing at the frog) and That's a rabbit (pointing again at the wedding sign) it's high on a mountain" This is when I start banging my head on the steering wheel and say to myself "I just got played by a two year old."
Chris gets home and I tell him all about my amazing day so he starts to talk with Kiara and this is how their conversation went:
Chris "So did you see a rabbit today?"
Kiara: "yeah"
Chris: "What color was it?"
Kiara: "green"
Chris: "Hmmm.. maybe it was a frog."
Kiara: "maybe it was a rabbit!"
Chris: "are you sure it wasn't a frog?"
Kiara: "Maybe it was a bunny!"
Out beat by a two year old.
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| Meet the "Rabbit" |
Looks like a rabbit in a frog suit to me
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