Please let them be oblivious to me

You know those times when you think "Oh crap I really hope they didn't see me!" I have waaaayyyyy too many of those moment. I think we need to find some sort of an excuse to get out of these moments, you know, something to throw them off for a bit, or at least have fun with it.

For instance:
You're drinking out of a water bottle with it's lid still on.  Your husband sees you and says "Did you just try drinking that water with the lid still on?" Rather than lying and saying "no" because you know he just saw you do it, you should say "maybe, but in an alternate universe that water bottle could have bitten off my head." Then leave the room. (I wish I thought of this excuse when Chris asked me)

OR!
When you're late for class and you're flying down the interstate going 90 when suddenly there is an idiot in front of you going 65 in the fast lane, and you can't get around them.  So you start making hand gestures and screaming obscene things at the top of your lungs like they can hear you. Suddenly, you get a gap big enough in the next lane to pass them and as you glare them down while passing you realize it's your boss. Let me tell ya from experience, the next day is going to be VERY uncomfortable.  You could pretend that everything is alright and pretend that your boss never saw you, or you could do what I did and make the same hand gestures while you are walking behind them and every time they turn around you stop and act like nothing is happening.  When they catch you, and trust me they will, say "OH NOW YOU NOTICE ME!!!"

OR!
You have an awesome red skirt that you're wearing (This one is mostly for the ladies, but guys if you want to use this one you are required to post a picture for me!) and lucky you, you didn't do your laundry so all you have is your thong to wear for unders.  Yay for you!!! You're on your way to work and you get out and are walking into the building with some other co-workers (all boys) when suddenly a gust of wind blows your skirt over your head.  Now, you could just run away and call in sick to work (even though everyone saw the commotion and they all know why you left for home). OR! Well there really is not or because when you say "You could have some fun with it" kind of makes you sound like a skank. For my instance I just laughed and said "Dang it! Marilyn Monroe can still do the skirt thing better than I can. I always forget to hold mine down!" Luckily the guys knew me well enough to know that this was a joke. *phew!*

OR!
When you're strutting along at work and you realize that half of your shirt is scrunched up just above your belly button and showing off your cami. Just say you're sportin a new look Half cami Half shirt. I call it 'Chamirti' (sham'er'ti)!

OR! (wow I have way too many 'OR!'s)
You go to church for the first time in about 2 months after having your first child.  When someone walks up to you and asks 'how are you doing?' and in a really high pitch voice with the goobery sounds you make to a baby say "I'm doing just fine! How are you doing?!" ummmm.....yeah....there will be silence for a little bit, mostly because you're shocked that you said that to an adult, and the adult is in shock because you just said that to them in a baby goober voice. This is when you say  "Ah crap the aliens hacked into my voice software again! I'm sorry they really like that baby voice dial."  The person already thinks you're a weirdo so why not have fun with it? Luckily, when I accidentally did this to someone, they had a sense of humor and said "You must have just had your first kid."

BUT!
Then there are those moments with no escape.

For instance:
You talk with your guy doctor for a good while, about an hour, and then you leave.  Just before you get into your car, you look down and notice that apparently your cami decided it wanted to be lower than normal and show off the entire top half of your hot pink and black bra. Yup whatcha gonna do in that situation? My answer: Just get a new doctor, the dude noticed. Honestly, there is no way not to notice a hot pink bra, that pretty much screams "Hey person over there! Yeah you! How you doin'?!" It's not like you can go back there and say something cause that would just make it awkward for the both of you. And you can't go back  and scream "I was in here for about an hour and you didn't say a dang thing?!!!!" Again. Awkward, and a possible law suit.

I just love having fun in these situations. It's totally embarrassing, and not to mention totally awkward, so have fun with the experience. If you have fun with it, you can write a blog about it and be like "Hey guys I'm an idiot and I'm going to tell you all about it!" and people will actually read this! They'll laugh at you, but just tell yourself "their laughing with you". That's what I do! :D I know you guys are just laughing with me. ha. ha. ha.....? ;) Yeah I know, I'm awesome!