I have no response to that answer...

I am an educated person. I know how to converse with people, and I think I do a fairly good job at getting my point across.  Nothing in life has ever taught me how to converse with a two year old. Apparently two year olds talk a lot differently than adults. This would have been great to know before hand.  I have had some of the weirdest conversations with my little girl and she always seems to baffle me and leave me speechless.

Kiara: Oh no mom! We forgot my baby and teddy bear!
Me: Nope I got them. See your mom is awesome huh? (Feeling like king of the world right now)
Kiara: No. Your mom is awesome, and Alicia is awesome too.
Me: (Awesomeness deflated a little) Did you know that my mom is grandma?
Kiara: silence for 2 minutes......WAIT! You're not Grandma!!

Grandma: Kiara if you are big enough to say a big word like "Disgusting" then you are big enough to use the potty
Kiara: But I say it little.

Me: What time is it?
Kiara: (as though she knows everything) It's not 5 o'clock yet
She was right it was only 1:30 PM

Me: (shouting down stairs to Chris) Do you think if I spray that Downy Wrinkle Free stuff on my hair it would straighten it?
Chris: You shouldn't do it
Kiara: (from the Kitchen shouts) You should do!!!
I agree with Kiara on this one, I really want to try it.

I come into Kiara's room at 9:15 PM and find her laying down playing with her doll house and have this conversation with her:
Me: Kiara! Why aren't you sleeping?
Kiara: Because I'm pooping SO MUCH. (inflection was really there)
What do you even say to this?!
I put her on the toilet and after 5 minutes she says: Oh. I'm just stinky, I'm done.

Me: KIARA!!! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT!!! NO! NO! NNOOOOOOO!
Kiara: (Looking very seriously) Calm down mommy, it's okay.
Me: Wait....Whaaaat?

We are at Walmart:
Me: Kiara please stop kissing the meat window
Kiara: But I'm so hungry!

We are in the public restrooms at Traverse Outlet, which by the way are freaking amazing!!! You literally get your own room for your toilet. It's not like any other stall I've ever seen! It's like the people who built Traverse Outlets want you to know that your butt is king over everything! If you've never seen them then you need to go! Even if you don't have to use the bathroom just go make your butt happy and sit in one of those stalls!
(Kiara burnt her lip on some hot food about two weeks ago and will never forget it)
Me: Kiara please stop kissing the public bathroom walls!
Kiara: But my lips are burned.
Me: No, you need to stop that's gross
Kiara: But I like it!
Apparently my child likes the taste of public bathroom walls. Yup she is Christopher's child. ;)


Kid is only two and I'm already getting answers that I cannot respond to. If she keeps it up at this rate I think I'm in real trouble. :)