The Munchy Monster King

I have officially decided that there is an evil demonic Munchy monster spirit that resides in my stomach and brain today.  I never had the munchies this bad.  I have seriously eaten 2 bowls of cereal, a whole bag of grapes, a thing of yogurt, half of a huge bag of M&M's and half of a quart zip lock bag of cereal all before 9:30. Oh and let's not forget the 40 oz of water that I drank too.

This picture depicts my thoughts of what my Munchy monster looks like:

See it's scary and evil huh?!!!! (Yeah I know I have issues with having my pictures staying within the blog lines but ... well no buts I just suck at this staying inside the lines....It's the munchy monster's fault it's making me break all of the rules!!!)

I'm going to defeat this thing if it's the last thing I do!!! Here's how it's going to go down:

On a dark and rainy day, after midnight (it has to be this type of setting because according to Hollywood that's when the monsters come out) I wait in the dark basement with my light saber ready for what ever will follow.  I have been planning this moment for years (Ok a few minutes, but it felt like years). I will finally get the chance to look into the Munchy monster's face and destroy it! The clock is slowly ticking away. Crap! I have a leg cramp! Gah this is going to ruin everything! I can't fight with only one leg! As I'm freaking out I think "I'll have to fight through it! The monster might be diagonally sliced but hey whatever works right?" As I sit there with tears in my eyes because of the growing pain, I see a flash of pink! It's the Munchy monster!!!! I immediately push the button for my light saber, but the batteries are dead!! Stupid Energizer I knew I should have gone with the Duracell batteries, on going bunny my hind end!  The lights suddenly go off and I can't see anything. Oh no!!! Something grabs my cramped leg and I can't scream because I lost my voice shouting at my two year old not to lick the electrical socket anymore, and to stop sticking her head in the toilet!!! AH if only I had my voice my husband would be able to come downstairs and help me!!! Oh no!!! What if the monster got my husband?! I have to run up the stairs but I can't because  after thinking about all of these things as to why I'm so scared I momentarily forgot that the monster has my leg!!! But then I remembered that this monster is only a floating head so how can it have my leg?! I look down and scream with pure terror. It had me with it's slimy green tongue! It was trying to eat me! I look around desperately trying to find something to hold on to. When I thought all hope was lost, I remembered that I still had my handy pocket canoe paddle! (Yes, canoe paddle, you never know when you're gonna need one, so I always keep one handy) I slap the monster senseless and it finally lets go of my leg.  I continue beating it with the paddle, but it continues to fight back.  Suddenly, the basement door opens and Chris shouts "What are you doing down there? You're causing the whole house to shake!" Because of Chris the monster becomes scared and suddenly vanishes before my eyes and leaving behind pink sparkles.  As I put my paddle down I knew that I had won this time, but the battle was not over.  Where ever that monster is I will be ready.  I will make certain that I have my light saber stocked with Duracell batteries, and I will have my handy canoe paddle.

Yeah it's going to be an epic battle. I'll have to see if I can Youtube it sometime :)

But seriously I have to get rid of this Munchy monster because I just ran out of things to eat and my key board is looking awfully tasty.